check out my fanlisting site for D'Sound's album "Beauty Is A Blessing"

yeepeee! hehehe...

http://blessing.lovebroke.org

finally nasabi ko rin sa knya ang mga gus2 kong sabihin.

eh tangina nman kasi eh...i have 5 months left na nga... HIRAP NA HIRAP NA NGAKO EH.

tangina. imbis na masiyahan ako...puro sama ng loob lang nararamdaman ko.

you think i want to feel like this?!?! you think i like being angry?!?! you think masarap yung feeling?!

tangina yan. all i want is some person i can lean on and love...AND SOMEONE I CAN TRUST. but noooooo... you can't always get what you want.

waaahh! i cant believe na-approve application ko sa thefanlistings.org. hehehe.

for ages...i've dreamed of owning a fanlisting...bwahahahah! finally!

i applied for the band "D'Sound" mismo, their song "Tattooed On My Mind", and their album "Beauty Is A Blessing" kng san andon ung Tattooed...

heheh. pano na kaya....naexcite ako na napressure bigla heheh.

*sigh*

You kill for revenge.
That is because you have lost something or
someone you held very dear. Now you can't seem
to get over the loss that marked your soul, and
the only solution is to go after the one person
who brought all this pain to you. Chances are
you are angry inside and you bottle everything
up and don't talk to anyone about it. People
may want to help, but you think that they can
never understand your pain and only get
frustrated because of this. But it is important
to see all that you have left and be thankful
of that even if you have lost something great.
It may not be true that Times heals all wounds,
but with time and talking about your feelings,
maybe the hurt will ease.

Main weapon: Yourself
Quote: "You can close your eyes to
reality but not to memories" -Stainslaw J.
Lec
Facial expression: Gritted teeth and
teary eyes


What Type of Killer Are You? [cool pictures]
brought to you by Quizilla

there's this nagging feeling again...somewhere in my stomach...that's telling me something's definitely going on...

something WRONG...very very wrong is happening...

and i just couldn't put my finger on what it is...

AND, again, i probably won't know what it is exactly, so how will i fix this...

lately (or is it, as always...?) my heart's becoming stubborn and it's so fucking hard to try and fix things...

i realized...that i just won't be able to bear another heartache...

i'm so bruised... i haven't completely healed yet...

i hope someone could sympathize... empathize w/ me...

in 2 wks time... it's payday again. (yey!)

i need a break.

wow for the first time...wala ako masabi. pero kailangan kong magpost everyday.

so here's what happened today....after lunch knina, i went up... sa pinakatuktok ng bldg nmin.......

malayo ang tingin......muni-muni........and i cried again.

pucha. i'm tired of being so emotional. ndi kaya may hormonal imbalance nako.

i think too much. and i can't help it. lately, i feel like i'm slowly falling apart... i think i'm going crazy...i need serious help.

they say, when you're in love, you feel high... complete... i should feel complete...but i feel like i'm still missing a lot...

i hav the love of my life... i love him to death...

but i also hav so many problems on top of so many existing problems... am i crazy for worrying too much?

or do i just need to make things right? sort out some issues and stuff in my life......?

i only have six months left to do just that...

and i just don't know if i can do it... i'm scared out of my wits...

yes. i'm so scared........i've never been this scared before.

i think......i'm gona die. hahahaha.

im so scared but i dont know anyone who i can turn to and tel him/her dat...i'm so fuckin scared.

of what?

that i cannot tell............. =.(

why is it so hard to think about something... especially if that something...is about to change your life forever... and that something is what you have been dreading and avoiding... something that you don't ever want to happen.

every time i think about leaving...... another part of me rots...and dies...

i feel weaker everyday. and sicker everyday.

time won't ever stop. i just hear every second ticking away... i feel more helpless and hopeless.

every time i think about the people so close to my heart... especially the one closest to my heart........ i sometimes pray for some meteor to just fall fast from the sky and go through the roof just above my room and hit me in the head real hard.

kind of harsh... but really it's something that might be less painful than what i'm feeling right now.

losing him is something that i really never wanted to think about and dared to even imagine again since i already experienced not having him in my life last year.........

and it was a part of my life that i just try to repress...... because my life then was empty.... and i loved him so much even if i thought i would never ever see him again...

but lately...realizing that i have to accept the awful truth and painful fuckin reality......that maybe... JUST MAYBE......... no matter what i do...no matter how hard i try..... things just won't go my way.

like right now, i feel like everything that i hold dear...... everything that i want to protect is slowly slipping away from my hands............

worse is...the past keeps on haunting me. no matter where i go...no matter where i turn...i see it. and i feel it. and i'm sick of it.

i'm already tired, physically and mentally, i'm emotionally exhausted....i'm already so fuckin weak.......... and no one's giving me strength... nothing and no one is giving me the inspiration to even muster up the strength to go on.

never in my life have i realized that everything that's happening in my life.... everything that i fear...and everything that i have to do from now on.... feels more like, in itself...a suicide.

if i do this....it's like i'm ending my life.....

the life i loved so much. the life i want to have. the life where the people i love are just there........the life that keeps me alive.

even if i fight this............i'm bound to just give up.

the more i fight...the more i will lose....

if i already tried slowly to accept last year that he won't ever come back to me... and i won't ever see him...

then maybe this time... i just have to imagine how my life was last year...

i already experienced it... so i know i could... just try it out again...

i mean... how much harder could it be....?

last year i felt empty... what's happening now is already killing me...

so maybe after all of these... i won't ever feel a thing.

by Bonnie Raitt
(M. Reid/A. Shamblin)


Turn down the lights
Turn down the bed
Turn down these voices inside my head
Lay down with me
Tell me no lies
Just hold me close
Don't patronize...
Don't patronize me

Cause I can't make you love me...
If you don't...
You can't make your heart feel something it won't
Here in the dark...
In these final hours...
I will lay down my heart
And I'll feel the power
But you won't...
No you won't...
'Cause I can't make you love me...
If you don't...

I'll close my eyes
Then I won't see
The love you don't feel...
When you're holding me
Morning will come
And I'll do what's right
Just give me till then...
To give up this fight...
And I will give up this fight

Cause I can't make you love me...
If you don't...
You can't make your heart feel something it won't
Here in the dark...
In these final hours...
I will lay down my heart
And I'll feel the power
But you won't...
No you won't...
'Cause I can't make you love me...
If you don't...



(this song was also sang by Constantine Maroulis in American Idol 4, and by Suzie McNeil in RockStar INXS...i love Suzie's version.......*sigh*)


i just bawl like a baby every time i hear this song...........n i don't know why. or do i? hehe. =.(

and said...'i miss you...'

...as if he's off the hook...

but i still love the bastard....fuck.

...nah. i'm still mad.......AND depressed.

this is far from over.

be sorted @ nimbo.net

like...duhhhhhhh...hehe.

sa lahat ng ayoko...inaasar ako. KAPAG ALAM na ALAM na maaasar ako...aasarin pako. nananadya pa talaga eh.

at binabalewala pako! aba! cge....bale-walaan pala ah. magaling din ako dyan.

anu ba toh...gantihan? ano toh...asaran talaga? hanggang ngayon pa ba eh ganito pa rin ang mga bagay-bagay???

mainit na nga ulo ko eh! alam ko pa kng anong buwan ngyon! ALAM KO! at walang ibang tao na may alam sa mga pinagsasasabi ko. at walang tao na nakakaalam na alam ko yun. so excuse me for being paranoid and for being bitchy...

sa lahat din ng ayoko...gumagasta ako ng load......tpos ipapasa ko pero ako mismo...walang narereceive na text sa pinasa ko mismong load! ni ndi man lang MAGPASALAMAT!!! ano? porke palima-limang piso lang kasi? ah POTA.

tangina yan. ano? puro sadya-an? game ako dyan!!!

B-R-I-N-G..it..ON.