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Monday, July 25, 2005

These are the words that are so unique and loaded in meaning that they will never find a direct translation in the English language.

Forget traditional dictionaries. Keep this.

1. Achuchu (A-chu-chu).
This refers to the pointless insincerities being said during long, involved conversations about nothing at all.

2. Ano (A-noh)
The all-around, all-purpose word for everything.

(1) Pronoun in interrogation: Ano? (What)
(2) Noun: Where is your ano? (Where is your father/mother/dead-uncle's-second-cousin)
(3) Verb: Anuhin this. (Paint/kill/maim/castrate this.)
(4) Adjective: This is so ano. (This is so pretty/big/astounding.)
(5) Interjection: Ano! (What the hell!)
(6) Substitute for genitalia: Did you ano your ano?

The use of ano is quite dangerous for the untrained ear, and must be put into the proper setting. "Honey, the ano is too long, we have to cut it," must be accompanied by the proper understanding of the context, as results may be critical to a couple's future.

3. Booba (boo-bah).
A female blessed with larger than usual mammary glands, which can be used as weapons of mass destruction.

4. Checheboreche (Che-che-boh-re-che)
Same as achuchu. It is interesting to ponder on the reason why there are so many words in the Filipino language that beautifully describe meaningless chatter.

5. Epal (Eh-pal).
An individual who believes he is God.

6. Gigil (gee-gil).
An uncontrollable desire to bite something.

7. Hipon (Hee-pon).
Literally "shrimp," whose body is eaten while its head is thrown away, this refers to a female whose body is to die for and whose face looks like it belongs to the dead.

8. Kikay (kee-kay).
Refers to individuals who carry a brush, hand wash, moisturizer, lip-gloss and various other facial enhancements in a case (aptly called a kikay kit) inside her bag. Recent inspections of various backpacks have led to the conclusion it is not a purely female trait. This breed cannot resist checking themselves out on mirrors, glass windows, bread knives, sidewalk puddles and plastic-covered notebooks.

9. Kaekekan (Ka-ek-e-kahn)
Same as achuchu and chechebureche.

10. Kilig (keel-leg).
A rush of excitement due to the actions, presence or even mention of he whom you see as the future father of your children.

11. Laglag-brip (lag-lag-brip).
The female counterpart of laglag-panti

12. Laglag-panti (lag-lag-pan-tee).
A man so incredibly hot, so heart-stoppingly gorgeous and oozing with masculinity that female underwear (whether worn by males or females) falls to the ground without effort whatsoever.

13. Indyanero (In-jan-neh-ro).
An individual who fails to appear at an appointment without prior warning. Not to be confused with individuals who appear according to Filipino time (approximately 10 minutes before the meeting is to end)

14. Japorms (Jah-porms).
Describes an individual dressed differently from the usual (typically involves clothes that have been laundered and pant legs of roughly the same length).

15. Lagot (Lah-got)
A prophesy of evil things to come.

16. Para (Pah-rah).
A term that informs the driver of a jeep to stop and pause (usually in the middle of the road) as the individual speaking intends to leave the vehicle. Dangerous for individuals as drivers seem to believe having one foot in the air is all that is necessary for descent.

17. Takusa (Ta-kuh-sa).
Derived from takot sa asawa (afraid of wife), this is a term used to describe the silent (very silent) minority of males married to feminine reincarnations of Hitler.

18. Torpe (tore-peh).
A gentleman who is desperately attracted to a female yet by some strange compulsion is reduced to a frozen mound of stuttering male whenever that female is near.

Armed with this list and a smile, you will be sure to make the proper impression not just on your new relations, but on your loved one as well. Now let's practice:

"Honey, when I first saw you, I made laglag brip, and was almost torpe. When I finally got the nerve to date you, I almost became indyanero, because I didn't think I had the right japorms. When you're around, I'm kilig, when you're not, I get gigil. You may think all this is achuchu, kaekekan, just chechecoreche, but in truth, my love, I'm so ano with you."

posted by niknok at 9:12:00 AM | Permalink | 0 comment(s)

***namiss kong magpost dito ah...so heto...hahaha. nakakaasar nga yan...para bang, O E ANO NGAYON??? WALANG PAKIALAMANAN!***

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Ilang ulit na bang nangyari sa iyo ito? Ngayon ang kasal ng pinsan mo. Heto ka ang ganda-ganda mo. Naghanda ka talaga dahil minsan-minsan lang ang okasyon sa pamilya nyo. Kadalasan sa mga lamay na lang kayo nagkikita-kita so ngayong kasal ng pinsan mo, gusto mo namang maging maganda at mapansin nila. Aba, napansin ka nga. Ganito ang tanong ng lahat ng kaanak mo sa iyo..."O ikaw kelan ka ikakasal?" "Uy, ikaw na ang susunod ano?" Parang gusto mo na sa susunod na lamay sila naman ang sabihan mo ng "Ikaw, kelan ka susunod?"

Hindi ka dapat malungkot dahil maraming posibleng dahilan bakit hindi ka pa kinakasal hanggang ngayon. Hayaan mo silang mainip sa paghihintay. Basta kung okay ka, okay ka. Hayaan mo tulungan kita mag-isip kung bakit wala ka pa ring girlfriend/boyfriend/asawa hanggang ngayon. Naisip ko na 'yan eh.

Ito ang sampung dahilan bakit wala pa.

1. Kailangan mong mag-concentrate sa career. Hindi na uso ang mga babaeng pambahay ngayon. Kalimitan meron ng tinatawag na career. Habang hindi ka pa tinatamaan ng palaso ni kupido, hamo na munang mag-concentrate ka sa trabaho mo. Kailangan mong ma-achieve ang full potential mo bago ka mag-asawa, kasi 'pag nag-asawa ka na, tanggapin na natin, iba na ang mga prioridad mo sa buhay. Lagi ng mauuna ang pamilya. Habang feel mo pang lumaban ng lumaban sa rat race at umakyat ng umakyat sa corporate ladder, huwag mong panghinayangan na wala ka pang sariling pamilya.

2. Masyadong mataas ang standards mo. Ibaba mo kasi ng konti, baka naman kahit si Rizal hindi ma-achieve yung standards mo. Tandaan mo, si Rizal kahit na bayani medyo babaero din. Walang taong perpekto. Kahit naman ikaw di ba? Meron ka ding kapintasan? Baba mo ng konti, yung makatarungang pamantayan lang. Baka naman naghahanap ka ng Brad Pitt eh di ka naman si Jennifer Aniston. Lumagay ka lang sa dapat mong kalagyan. Baka naman naghahanap ka ng kasing yaman ni Zobel eh ikaw naman eh pobre din lang naman. Huwag. Huwag ganoon. Baka naman naghahanap ka ng smart, na gwapong, mayaman. Ate, kung ganon ang hanap mo, malamang tatandang dalaga ka na talaga. Di lahat binibigay ni Lord. Di bale kung salat sa face value, babawi na lang siguro yung sa bait at sa talino. Kung puro face value naman, at salat sa kaalaman or masama ang ugali, manalig ka na lang na baka pag pinakain mo ng gulay tumalino or ito the best, lahat naman ng tao nagbabago. Pwede pa 'yan bumait.

3. Hindi ka lumalabas ng bahay. O baka lumalabas ka nga ng bahay, sa opisina lang naman ang punta mo. Huwag ganon. Sumama ka sa mga kaibigan mo, mag-mall ka, magsimba ka, mag-outreach program ka. Huwag mongpanisin ang sarili mo sa bahay dahil wala talagang makakapansin sa iyo sa bahay. Mag-aral ka ng painting, voice lessons at Yoga. Imaginin mo kung magka-boyfriend ka na Yoga master? or di kaya, chef. O di ba cool 'yun? Magliwaliw ka sa bookstores, sa coffee shops, at kung saan-saan pang mataong lugar. Baka sakali mapansin ka doon.

4. Baka naman sobrang tapang mo. Oo nga naman, baka naman sobrang masungit ka at natatakot sa iyo ang mga potential suitors mo. Baka dapat kang maging approachable ng konti. Baka masyadong maangas ang dating mo imbis na matuwa sa iyo matakot. Baka sobrang independent mo, at parang mabubuhay ka ng wala silang lahat. Minsan may epekto rin 'yan. Baka sobrang talino ng dating mo pakiramdam nila mababara lang sila or baka 'pag pinadalhan ka ng love letter eh i-edit mo ng red ink pen.

5. Baka naman kasi losyang ka. Oo nga naman, mag-ayos ka paminsan-minsan yung tipong kahit stressed ka or overworked, eh di mo mahahalata.

6. Baka naman hinahanapan pa ni Lord ng ribbon ang para sa iyo. Natatandaan ko ang sabi ng kaibigan ko. Blessing daw from the Lord ang mga girlfriends/boyfriends. O eh baka naman hinahanapan pa ni Lord ng magandang ribbon yung regalo mo. Kasi baka daw 'pag hindi maganda ang packaging i-reject mo.

7. Baka naman nagtitipid sa toll fee yung para sa iyo. Malay mo kasi taga-Norte yung para sa iyo eh mahal naman ang toll fee. Baka nagtitipid dumaan sa walang toll kaya medyo natatagalan.

8. Baka naglakad yung para sa iyo. Parating na 'yon kaya lang mahal ang gasolina so naglakad na lang papunta sa iyo. Besides, walking is good for the heart daw. Baka sa kakalakad naligaw na. Ito pa namang mga lalaking ito, hindi magtatanong kung hindi pakiramdam nila naliligaw na sila.

9. Baka !naman sadyang torpe lang yung para sa iyo. Baka naman nag-iipon pa ng lakas ng loob o di kaya nag-iisip pa ng magandang tiyempo. Baka talagang hindi lang siya makapag-salita dahil sobrang mahiyain niya. Baka naman dapat makiramdam ka rin ng konti kasi talagang deadma ang dating nito. Baka dapat tinatanong ng unti-unti.

10. Baka naman talagang for single blessedness ka. Ipagdasal mo. Baka naman kasi pinapagod mo ang sarili mong kakaisip bakit you're still single eh hindi naman kasi marriage ang plan ni Lord for you. Paminsan-minsan magtanong ka kasi sa Kanya baka naman ikaw ang naliligaw. Baka naman ikaw ang nagtitipid. Baka naman kasi ikaw ang torpe.

Baka naman kasi ikaw ang problema. Gasgas man, pero sasabihin ko pa rin. Darating Din Yun. Kung para sa iyo, para sa iyo. Kahit iwasan mo, para talaga sa iyo.

posted by niknok at 9:09:00 AM | Permalink | 0 comment(s)