i'm mad... i'm angry... because... that's all i can do or feel right now.

it's like... it's the only defense mechanism left in my system right now. it's like the only way i could defend myself... coz no one can defend me anymore. i did this, too, to myself. now i'm getting all the repercussions of everything that happened, because i contributed to it somehow.

i was a victim of my own ignorance...cluelessness...naiveté.

i was a victim of all his lies and cruelty.

i cannot sulk. i don't want to sulk in one corner anymore.

i don't want to cry.

i am not happy of what happened.

i don't want to be sad.

i am not contented...

so what's left for me but anger and madness?

still... one day it will fade away... one day... some day.