why? WHY? why am i so fuckin stubborn???

why do i keep on going back to where i was before.....emotionally????

oh yah. coz i love him. right.

and i do. i love him to death.

but why? WHY DID IT COME TO THIS??????

finally...i got to know the truth. the fuckin painful truth. it was.........it did sting somehow. but what hurt me the most...was the way he handled it.

i thought i can only see it in the movies....how life can be so unfair. how life bites back. how life can really pull a person down.

i thought i can only see it in the movies......where one can really have a breakdown......and shout to the skies....w/ that overly dramatic way of cursing the heavens.....kneeling down on the ground........ screaming at the top of your lungs....

WHHHHHYYYYYYYY?! WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME?! WAAAHHH.

but somehow...that made me laugh. hahahah. i can't believe it's happening to me.

im dis close to breaking down..dis close..the gap between these 2 dots..

isang kalabit lang...wahh BAM ZAP BOOM M DEAD.

and somehow....in spite of the harshness of it all......i feel loved. i feel strong....when he's strong.

when he's weak...i'm weak.

but...ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.

i'm tired of hiding and sacrificing our relationship for 'their' sake.

so i gave him an ultimatum.......

friday is the deadline. or more like...doomsday...

we'll see wat happens til then....

God help me....save me.